I am a house spouse, a homemaker, a stay at home mom. Basically the person that stays at home with the child. I’m the default parent for our child. I’m there for almost all the no nap tantrums and messes made all over the floors/walls. I am a big part of the village raising them.
My dreams are different from yours. I dream of a house full of love and laughter. Whereas your dreams take you to places far outside of our home. Nothing is wrong with either dream, they are just different.
I spend my days chasing a giggling toddler. My days are full, and filled with joy. I want to be home for them. I want to be there while they grow, and learn.
Not only are you caring for a child all day long, you’re doing most of the housework. An understandable trade when you’re home all day, but that does not make you solely responsible for ALL of the house work. Then there is the cooking, grocery shopping, and daily upkeep that isn’t just cleaning.
Part of being a house spouse is supporting your partner in their career. It is difficult sometimes to remember how draining having to clock in and clock out can be. It is also difficult to see how much energy goes towards caring for a child all day long by yourself.
Being a house spouse is more sacrifice than anyone wants to make it sound. You give up most of your time to everyone else in your house. You put your own passions and dreams on hold for a little while. THAT’S OKAY.
You’re allowed more than one dream in life. I love my child, and would move mountains for her if I had to. I want to be a house spouse, the chaos is where I thrive. My child is my dream, but I won’t pretend that I am not still my own person.
